you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
