oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
