At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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