nut hugger
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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