Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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