wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
