Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner