She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"