yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
