my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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