you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome