im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
