How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha