Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.

(917): View more from New York City

dollar well spent

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(802): last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears. (917): dollar well spent http://tfl.nu/wmsi

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(985): View more from Louisiana

Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.

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(985): Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with. http://tfl.nu/8rek

Replies (43) Good night (4939) Bad night (988)
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(219): View more from Indiana

Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.

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(219): Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream. http://tfl.nu/v6je

Replies (37) Good night (7080) Bad night (862)
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(443): View more from Maryland

a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?

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(443): a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy? http://tfl.nu/2h5u

Replies (32) Good night (854) Bad night (3402)
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(323): View more from California

Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?

(1-323): View more from California

We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?

(323): View more from California

Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.

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(323): Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender? (1-323): We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out? (323): Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture. http://tfl.nu/sr23

Replies (44) Good night (1578) Bad night (28594)
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(801): View more from Utah

You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.

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(801): You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night. http://tfl.nu/ij9z

Replies (9) Good night (3686) Bad night (904)
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(636): View more from Missouri

Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life

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(636): Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life http://tfl.nu/x73d

Replies (45) Good night (8664) Bad night (859)
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(614): View more from Ohio

So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.

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(614): So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome. http://tfl.nu/kpah

Replies (18) Good night (6146) Bad night (1231)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.

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(678): Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it. http://tfl.nu/0dlq

Replies (27) Good night (5071) Bad night (1719)
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(847): View more from Illinois

He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?

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(847): He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people? http://tfl.nu/g8mb

Replies (15) Good night (5155) Bad night (1557)
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(906): View more from Michigan

Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you

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(906): Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you http://tfl.nu/vgld

Replies (3) Good night (3505) Bad night (1329)
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(913): View more from Kansas

He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.

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(913): He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me. http://tfl.nu/52qd

Replies (3) Good night (787) Bad night (1577)
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(845): View more from New York

I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.

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(845): I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent. http://tfl.nu/v6g7

Replies (9) Good night (489) Bad night (759)
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(706): View more from Georgia

To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.

(1-706): View more from Georgia

You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.

(706): View more from Georgia

Touche.

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(706): To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid. (1-706): You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man. (706): Touche. http://tfl.nu/xj0m

Replies (4) Good night (1149) Bad night (550)
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(719): View more from Colorado

Our relationship needs a sober moment

(1-719): View more from Colorado

I'll call you when that happens

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(719): Our relationship needs a sober moment (1-719): I'll call you when that happens http://tfl.nu/srmb

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