No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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