omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
