I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Drake has all the answers
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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