that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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