Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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