Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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