Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
