is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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