Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
