She's JV to your varsity
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
