you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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