i think my tv is drunk
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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