3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
