do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
