if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
