I can feel you judging me through the phone.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Can you bring me the toilet please
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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