we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
