his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
