Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
