please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Randomize
