He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
