is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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