I just saw a hot homeless man
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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