I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
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I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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