Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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