If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
