the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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