would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
