Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
