I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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