Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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