STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
