They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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