I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize