No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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