we're blogging at a bar
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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