Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
