Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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