after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
