In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
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