I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
