He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
