A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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