She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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