Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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