stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
