Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize