She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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