The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
