We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
