he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
