man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
