i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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